My girl was telling me about something she read and she was reluctant to post anything about it because she goes out of her way to not make waves with anyone. I, on the other hand, don’t usually give a shit. I rarely post anything here and I thought this was as good a time as any to rock the boat.
Libby, of “a submissive’s musings” made a post about some “Domme” who said “I am looking for someone who wants a young, sexy Mistress or Princess to spoil, adore and OBEY. If you are ready to be My pay pig, then contact Me now. You must be prepared to PROVE you want to spoil Me financially by sending Me a small donation or gift certificate. If you are not ready to spoil Me with gifts, then KEEP IT MOVING.“
Apparently, this “Domme” has links to stores so guys can shower her with tokens of their devotion to her uberness, and they can also buy her crusty, old, used drawers at the low, low price of 2 for $40. Several people agreed with her less than favorable assessment of that “Domme”, and several disagreed. I happen to agree with all the commenters. How can that be? Well, like most men in my position, I generally agree with the notion that there are no rules in this lifestyle, and the whole “your kink is not my kink but that’s OK” philosophy. However, if I was going to be truly honest to myself and the world, I’d have to admit that I find the entire FemDom idea to be preposterous. I have broad shoulders and I can take the hate that will surely rain down on me for saying that, but I have my reasons and to me, they are quite valid. I certainly don’t expect any submissive male to change his way of thinking just because I say so and I would never tell anyone else how to live his or her life as long as it doesn’t directly or adversely affect me or mine.
None of us need to pretend to like or understand the way other people live, we don’t even have to accept it, we just have to leave them alone to live however they want to because it’s none of our business. Libby makes a valid point about how the vanilla world looks at “our world” and when they see crap like that, they look at all of us the same way. Frankly, I don’t give a baboon’s fat, red ass what anyone thinks of the way we live our lives, vanilla or not. They can accept it or they can “KEEP IT MOVING” as the crusty panty “Domme” would say. I will continue to tell my girl how to dress, when to shut up, when to suck and when to speak. I’ll spank, slap, cuff, gag, blind and hood her when I damn well please and I’ll put holes in her flesh when and where I please. No one but her has to accept or understand any of it and I don’t give a damn that the vanilla world will NEVER accept lifestyles that veer too far from missionary in the bed with the lights off. (That sounds like some kind of attempt to put an end to a game of Sex Clue.) We will never be able to practice the more daring parts of our lifestyles in public without fear of legal and religious persecution, but just as a fat, smelly woman can wear sweats and a tube top to Target, you can wear your collar and rings and tattoos and brands as well, just be prepared to be laughed at, frowned upon and pointed toward. Don’t do anything illegal, or even borderline illegal in public and most of us will be able to live and let live. Religious zealots and related nutjobs will always be zealots and nutjobs, just steer clear of them and/or vote them out.
The moral of my story is, I’m selling my rancid, holey, stuck to the carpet, used to be white socks for $5 a pair. Contact me here for the Paypal link.
Being chained to the bed brings out all these different emotions. i was laying in bed last night for hours on end not able to sleep looking at all the attachment point and chains hanging from the eye bolts. All i could think about was being chained to the bed and how every time i walk into the bedroom i see the chains under the bed or hanging from the eye bolts at the canopy top.
Master doesn’t chain me to the bed every night, far from it, but when He does i’m on a short chain. It’s just long enough to reach into the Master bath. Master has the chain exactly far enough that i am able to stand at the sink with the chain around my left foot, just enough to reach the faucet and no further. It’s not so much that i have to sleep with a heavy chain on my ankle of course, it’s the idea. The idea that i’m stuck. There is a thick leather cuff around my ankle and big chain wrapped around either an eye bolt that goes through the 4×4 bed post or the chain is wrapped around the 4×4 at the foot of the bed at the floor. Either way without a) the key or b) bolt cutters, i’m going no where. Things have changed i think though through the years. He used to chain me to the bed before He built this bed and while i still had the same amount of chain, the bed wasn’t so massive and i think i thought, i might be able to pull myself out if i ever needed to. Now i know i’m not going anywhere unless Master says so, period. Of course that’s the way with any sort of bondage. The difference is, the length of time and how often i see these chains as a reminder.
When Master locks that last pad lock on or clip or however He decides to lock me in for the night, i know that this will be my plight for the night. Unless He says differently, i am here for the duration, be it 5 hours or 10. He used to care if i was bratty about it or if i pouted or if i was in a bad mood or didn’t wanna be in those dumb chains… LOL. Anymore He really doesn’t give a crap if i’m into it or not. He’ll slap that leather cuff on and that chain on just whenever He darn well pleases and that will be the way of it, end. of. story. If i have a good reason (and it better be very good) He might let me out to go to the kitchen, but chances are, He won’t. So before that lock closes i need to be sure i have all my ducks in a row before it’s time for bed.
i know i used to just hate being chained to that bed for no other reason than “what if i don’t wanna be chained up?” HAHA What an awesome slave-like attitude right? i’m better than i was before, i see the cuffs come out now and for whatever reason, i toss out my wrists or ankles and i am happy to see them now. Usually. There are always times when i’m a brat about it, i can’t even say why. i don’t want to be, i want to love it all the time, i want to love it as much as He does, all the time. i’m getting better, i am. i can always equate feeling bad physically to not responding well to Him, that’s always been consistent. It never makes it right though and it always makes me feel guilty. But that’s something altogether different, really.
i was just thinking as i was lying there, not able to sleep, that i know i still have a lot of improvements to make, i have come a long way from where i used to be. In my own mind just being able to be open and honest with myself is a huge deal. In the past i’m not sure i would have been able to write this down or even admit that everything He wanted wasn’t perfect in my eyes. i still have so far to go, i was lacking so much when i came to be His but i believe what is important is that He and i continue to strive to mold me into what He wants of me. i know i can’t do it alone and He knows it too. =)
We’re doing better, back on the right track, back in sync with one another again. It’s so hard when we have so much bickering but that seems to be gone and we’re back to our normal selves and working together again like we always have. It’s a comfort to know that we’ll have these times, we’ll go through rough patches like any couple and we’ll trudge through them, together.
The difference is, one of us might just be chained to the bed while we do the trudging. =p
Peace to you and yours,
The video clips that Master and i make are amateur clips. That’s the intention, they aren’t scripted and i almost never know what we’re going to do other than “we’re going to make a clip”. Sometimes i don’t even know that much. So the other day Master told me i was going to give Him a blow-job and that was as much information as i had. It’s really more than i usually get haha.
He put this harness blindfold on me and i went to “work” haha. Midway through what i thought was a pretty intense work out, M handed me a pair of handcuffs and told me to put them on. Let me remind you, i am blind folded and not just a lil strap on velcro deal either. A whole head harness buckle up, there’s no way in heck you’re even going to see a glimmer of light, blindfold. So i took the handcuffs and slap the left cuff shut with several clicks and thought, hmmmmm…. something seems amiss. See… i’m not the one that puts these things on me, like ever. So there goes the mood cause i have to interrupt what was a pretty hot and heavy blow job to tell M that i’ve blundered the hand cuffs and i’m fairly sure they are on backward.
Sooooo He’s gotta get up, fiddle with the keys and we have to start over! This is the one time where Master is totally fine with having as many takes as possible!!! hahahaha
But the handcuff thing? Yeah, i’m pretty much a full-on genius.
March Q & A~
To anyone sending questions via my email address~ please let me know if you would like your question posted on the blog. Questions that are more personal i am less likely to post on the blog unless given the A-okay from you to post it! =)
Keep them coming but be specific if you want your question posted please! =)
Master and i had to make a quick run up to the fish store cause our fish got sick and now it’s going to be a pain in the butt to get them better again. It’s common but just a pain to get them all well again.
Master and i continue to struggle some lately, i think it’s just a thing right now. It’s not bad and we’re talking things through but we do seem to be a lot less tolerant of each other more lately than most times. It could just be that we have an old fashioned case of cabin fever, who knows.
As much as i don’t really like summer, i’m looking forward to getting outside some and being able to get more exercise. We both need it. i know that it will be fun to do more “play” stuff outside too. We’ve hardly ever done anything in the pool and i would like to try some type of bondage in the pool. i know we’re limited with privacy but it would be fun to at least play around in there. Setting up a night time camera out there would be a blast while having the pool light on. i don’t even know what is possible but Master did have some silicone/rubber cuffs at one time that He made that would be perfect for that type of setting. The silicone and stainless steel collar would also work great too. Too bad Iowa is only warm for about 4 hours out of the year! hahaha okay it’s not THAT bad! =p
i’m sure it will get better soon, i have faith.
i hope all is well out in blogville!
Peace to you and yours,
i never know when i might be falling out of favor with Master. It’s not even so much that i’m forgetting my place or that i might be in need of “correction” as He calls it, it’s just that He’ll make a comment “you sure are cocky, aren’t you?”. i should see the writing on the wall, when those comments start coming. i never do though, i suppose i’m sort of thick and i don’t just mean my thighs! =p
The other day i was in the kitchen giving the dog a snack for the umptheenth time that day and i knew that Master was planning something as He wouldn’t allow me to get dressed in my girdle and stockings as normal, i was just in a mini skirt and blouse. Very uncharacteristic of Him. So He called me into the bedroom and it appeared i was indeed in for some sort of something, but He never lets on as to what it’s going to be. i know it’s because He doesn’t want me to freak out or get nervous. He put a ball gag in and earlier He’d put the leather wrist cuffs on as well as the big belled leather ankle cuffs. i seriously sound like Santa when i wear those things. They are very loud when i wear just one, let alone both of them.
i also had the stainless steel & silicone locking collar on that He doesn’t have me wear very often, so i had a pretty good idea from earlier in the day when He was putting all that on me that something was coming, later in the day. Again, i just didn’t know what and that’s always better for me. So He attached the ankle cuffs together with some sort of lock and then to a chain that’s always on the bed. Then locked the leather wrist cuffs together (i think?) behind my back and also put some handcuffs on me. He also attached my hands to a chain hanging from the bed post.
If you’ve never seen pictures of the bed that Master built about a year ago, it’s worth the gander. i don’t care how badly i wanted out of those chains, they were attached to eye bolts that go into 4×4 posts. The bed itself is pretty intense.
Once He had me all secure He gave me some quiet time which for me isn’t a bad thing. i don’t get bored easily and i can just sit for a long time. What is always hard for me is being worried about what’s coming and the pain of the handcuffs. There was a time when i could hardly hold my arms behind my back, i don’t have that trouble as much, now it’s the handcuffs as they cut into my hands. i don’t have a high threshold for that i guess. So i sit there and i wonder what will happen and i have the hardest time concentrating, what will He do to me and what have i done to get here?
i always try to think about my smart mouth and why i say the things i say, why can’t i just shut my mouth? i know that more often than not it’s not what i say but sometimes what i don’t say. He wants me to talk to Him, He wants me to say the right things, He wants me to be more passionate. So here i sit, trying to think of ways to be more passionate, and in He walks and He grabs a little flogger i think that’s what He picks up first. The first thing He does is swing down hard and hits the very tip of the nipple/nipple ring and it stings, badly. i just looked down because i didn’t want to whimper right off. He goes through a little flogger, another flogger and some little leather smacker thing. i’m red by now and every time He hits me i can’t help but think He doesn’t hit me often enough, i know i deserve it, but i just wish He’d stop. Over and over in my head, please please please please stop…. it hurts it hurts owie owie… Finally He stops. It hasn’t been long but to me, long enough.
He kisses me and asks me if i’ve learned my lesson, with sort of a sadistic laugh. A laugh i really haven’t heard from Him before. i just said uh huh and He left me. He left me to think some more.
i know i need this more often and it might be the first time in a long time i’ve written about something like this. i just don’t think that when He gives me a lesson like this i am as thankful as i should be. i want it to be over the entire time and then when it’s over, i feel bad that i didn’t try harder. Am i more of a masochist than i’ve ever made myself out to be? =)
Peace to you and yours
This is a very long response because it’s a difficult one for me to answer. i am afraid of a lot of things, i don’t like bats but i have gotten past it some. i didn’t know that i had claustrophobia until i had an MRI when i was about 29 years old but since then Master has really forced me to get over that a lot with the hood. i don’t have any trouble when He puts me in the box, even if i’m all chained up or cuffed and tied. The biggest thing was the hood and i’m able to talk myself down and take slow breaths. Master just doesn’t accept claustrophobia as being “real” no matter what i say or how much data there is. The first time He put the hood on me i completely went haywire and it was a disaster, since then He has given me no choice but to work through my fears.
i believe my biggest fear is that of not being able to breath, it comes from having asthma. i was born with it and even though i have all but outgrown it, only having a flair when i have a cold, not being able to breath cool air or get a deep cool breath is frightening. If i can feel cool air from somewhere, i can calm down, otherwise i do tend to panic. That isn’t something that i’ve been able to overcome yet. i’m not sure how i’ll get over that one. But as the saying goes, practice makes perfect! =)
Ask me anything
Master and i went to an annual city carnival yesterday, it’s very small but it was okay. It’s a River Front carnival but this year due to rising waters they couldn’t even have it on the river, they had to have it somewhere else in the city so it was a bit odd. It was alright though, we had our corn dogs and Master bought be a funnel cake, that i ate way too much of but it was good, i’m just glad that fair and carnival season only comes around a short time of the year.
We’ve talked about going to nearby fairs as well but there aren’t any this year that we’ve said we just absolutely have to go to. We love to go but they are expensive and hot but we really love to go, just because it’s tradition!
Last night we watched a couple of movies both of them really quite good for what they were. We watched GI Joe and it was no Academy award winner but it was definitely fun. The other was Extreme Measures, this movie was really something. If you’ve never heard about it or seen it, it’s really one to see. It’s about a father who goes above and beyond to save his children’s lives. It’s a true story as well.
i watched both movies in regular handcuffs, something a few years ago, would have been difficult for me, to sit 5 hours in cuffs, even cuffed in front. Much of the time i am in leather ankle and wrist cuffs, the regular cuffs add a way different feel to the mood for me. i am never cozy lol but at least now i am not in pain nor do i feel as though i am being punished. It’s just a different form a restrain. i used to feel as though when those went on, i was immediately in trouble and being punished because they hurt so badly. Now because the pain is gone, the feeling of punishment is gone as well. Now i am able to just sit in the metal cuffs knowing i am being restrained for His pleasure, the same as with the leather cuffs and for no other reason. Mind games, of course, they are all in my mind! haha
i am going to get off here and try to see about getting the dog’s hair trimmed up a bit, it’s really hot outside and he’s pretty miserable.
i hope you’re all having a good weekend!
Peace to you and yours,
We had a nice quiet dinner in the Quad Cities for our One Year Anniversary. Then we went shopping and i got few things for my birthday. It was a really nice evening and it ended with a bang. When we got home Master blindfolded me, and cuffed me in “The Box”. He left me in there for what seemed like a long time and with the lights off, it’s completely pitch black in there. i actually like spending time in there. As soon as He puts me in there i enter some type of “head space”. It’s a good place to be and it helps me get more into my submission than just about anything else.
When He finally took me out, He lead me into the bedroom and had me lie on the bed. i was pretty sure that i was in for a fairly intense spanking and i was right. He had me screaming into my gag in no time. He started with the flogger then He switched to the crop (i hate that thing!). He used the leather paddle some and that really put me over the edge. i was completely wasted by the time He started spanking me with His hand and my butt was on fire! i found myself going through a number of different emotions and the one that i always remember is anger. i always wonder why He puts me through more pain when i’m already in so much pain to begin with. Then i come to the conclusion that the “normal” pain that i’m in isn’t a submission type of pain. He subjects me to this type of pain to give me an opportunity to prove to Him that i’m willing to endure this pain for Him. Although i fight the temptation to be angry with Him i end up feeling good about myself and happy that i was able to please Him.
When the spanking was over, He uncuffed me, took the gag off and used me for His pleasure. By the time He was finished with me i could barely even talk, forget walking and functioning like a human being. i was completely fried and it felt good. We talked for a long time and it ended up to be an awesome night.
Today has been a bad day for me as i have felt just awful. i had to skip my bowling night because my head was just hurting too bad. It’s a good thing that i didn’t go to bowling because i was sick when we got home from having supper and running errands. i’m going to head to bed and pretend this day never happened and hope that tomorrow is a much better day.
Peace to you and yours!
Last night when i got home from my second night of bowling for the week, i started in on supper. When supper was almost ready, Master told me to go the bedroom and take off all my clothes. He had me eat supper, do the dishes… all of my “normal” stuff completely naked. This was pretty difficult for me and real lesson in humility. i don’t remember the last time i felt so exposed, even if it was just to Him. i also had a feeling of complete submission, i felt as though i was totally open and ready for Him. Even though it was tough it was still a really good and almost cleansing experience.
i’m sure that many slaves stay naked for the better part of their time but for me it was something a little different. There have been many times that He has had me remove everything but my skirt and then placed the ankle and wrist cuffs on me just to watch TV or something. But this was the first time i felt so totally vulnerable and for me, that felt safe in some strange way.
Master has been sick the last couple of days so He really hasn’t had much energy to do anything. We will spend the rest of the night getting ready for Halloween when He’s done taking a short nap. There was a nasty storm that passed by here not long ago so we were frantically running around outside the house picking up anything that might get damaged by the storm. Thankfully it was over before it started.
i had a busy day and spent some time baking cookies and making a big meal. i have been cooking a lot more lately as we are trying to eat out less, save some money and eat a bit healthier. i’m finding my “homemaker” side and i’m really liking it. It makes me feel more like i’m contributing to our life, seeing that i spend so much time not feeling well and sleeping.
Time to prepare for Halloween!!
Peace to you and yours!!