This past Monday Master took me to the funeral for my good friend’s Mom.  While the occasion wasn’t a happy one by any means, it was wonderful to see my friends, as i knew it would be.  By now Master knows of most of them, it’s not hard there are only five and He know my best friend fairly well.  She’s been through all the ups and downs and she’s not privy to my lifestyle but i believe even if she were, she wouldn’t be judgemental.  She has zero room to be and i have been there for her through it all.  We all do things we regret and in her case, it worked out very well.  She met a wonderful man who is much too good for her, lol, he’s not, they are perfect for each other.  He’s got plenty of money and that means a lot to her.  She’s not a gold digger she just wants to be comfortable and she’s always worried about money.  Now she doesn’t have to as much as she always has.

Right around this time of year i find myself wishing i was able to spend time with my sister.  i am not able to spend time on the phone with her anymore like i used to because she’s terribly busy, baking, getting food prepared ahead of time for her family to be there over the holidays and just her daily routine.  She doesn’t keep a spotless house by just sitting around eating bon bons all day long.  So i don’t call, i wait to see if she calls and if she calls, i call back.  Sometimes, i reach out if i think it might be a good time.  Then i can tell she gets busy or nervous that she’s been on the phone too long.  i know sometimes i have become the person that talks too long or too much.  She was always the one who wouldn’t shut up and now i am that person.

i did it today with Master only it’s a different situation.  If there’s any background noise, i don’t hear well at all.  If there’s any disturbance at all, i simply do not hear.  i can talk with a fan running or if there’s low TV or music but not if i have water running or other people talking.  i am not good on the phone, especially a cell phone.  i can NOT talk on a cell phone or any phone on speaker phone.  The delay is more than i can process and our home phone cuts out.  Today, He admonished me again for not allowing Him to speak while on speaker phone. It’s horribly embarrassing for me to be the one who has to be told to shut up.  i know i’ve learned to talk and now i talk way too much.  i don’t want to be that person, i never wanted to be that person who talks all the time.  Now i am and i absolutely hate it.  i don’t have a lot of opportunity to chat so when i do, i never shut my mouth.  That’s not even altogether true.  There are times when i just don’t feel like talking, it’s too much trouble, but when i do want to talk, it’s like i can’t turn it off.

i am truly an introvert.  i don’t want to be noticed in a crowd, i want to sit in the back and leave early.  It’s getting easier but i used to hate to meet people but the older i get the less i care about looking ridiculous.  If i’m around my family, i’ll talk but when i was young, i surely didn’t.  i was the one who sat in the corner, literally in the corner and tossed out snide remarks when appropriate.  That’s always been me, sarcastic and quietly comical.  i don’t want to be loud and irritating.  That person is never comical, that person is the person you wish would st*u and go sit down somewhere and let everyone else talk.  Worst of all, that person is never a lady. That’s just the worst feeling, it’s embarrassing. It’s a lesson in humility, for sure.  i get to remember to be quiet and let others talk and listen.  That’s what i need to be doing anyway.

i hope you’re all having a wonderful weekend!

Peace to you and yours,

MD’s treasure

2 comments to Humility

  • Lea

    Can you text your sister, or communicate through written word?

    That has helped me in numerous situations to keep in touch when its been difficult to talk. Another thing I tried is the Marco Polo App. You leave a video message and they get back to you, and you them (well, hopefully you do). That way you can control when you’re going to leave the message, and wehn you’ll listen to hers. Not sure if that will help; its just a thought.

    • We do text sometimes. She sends me messages through facebook also. We have just always talked on the phone and it’s worked for us that way. We’ve talked on Skype a couple of times but the facebook chat and phone are usually the only two ways we chat. i’ll look into the marco polo thing though. Thanks!

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